Swansea has mysteriously been overlooked once again in a recent Style and Originality awards ceremony.
Thousands of stylish men and women in the city are bewildered with the results, which were announced by the Style and Originality council earlier today.
Call centre worker Theresa Connell said: “I fake tan to the point where my Mam Googles for signs of liver disease and I wear lacey prom-style dresses that no one anywhere else would ever wear. Pretty original in my opinion.
“I die my hair the blackest colour of black it’ll go too, just like thousands of others down here. I was in London the other week and the girls there all look different to each other, it’s really weird.”
Men also bore the brunt on their monumental efforts to look generic, despite regularly testing how far up their head they can take their skin fade haircut from a place masquerading as a proper barber shop.
Plasterer Pete Bowen said: “I wear a fucking waistcoat and I often accompany it with some sort of tartan dicky bow. Stylish or what?
“I whiten my teeth until they become transparent and even wear tweed blazers. Sure, me and the boys look a bit similar when we go out, but that doesn’t mean we’re not pushing boundaries.
“Recently I’ve started wearing contact lenses to make my eyes appear bluer than they are and my skin fade haircut incorporates a highly original inch thick hard parting which runs diagonally from the middle of my head to the corner of my neck.”
Bowen added: “I take loads of steroids and train arms five times a week, all without regulating my diet, so I’m fit too. All these fellas in Brighton or Manchester look like dickheads in their clothes which aren’t Superdy or Von Dutch.”