The cough that’s plagued the country recently is feeling really comfortable now and fancies sticking around a bit longer. 

The virus which has led to queues of people spluttering outside doctors surgeries has taken over people’s lives, limiting social activities and being generally irritating. 

Virus Pete Bowen said: “It started out as a week-long thing to begin with, just getting into people’s throats a bit and screwing with their sleep. 

“But it’s been a lot of fun and I’ve managed to infect some pretty big names. Maybe I like the attention and maybe I’m greedy, but as it stands it’s easier to cure yourself of Ebola than get rid of me, so I can’t just leave it.” 

Medical experts advise plenty of fluids and definitely not visiting the Doctor Surgery, due to them not being able to do anything about it. 

Bowen added: “I invested quite a bit of money in cough medicine shares before I entered your system and made you cough all night. 

“Please keep buying that stuff, it won’t make your cough go, but it will make me rich.”

photo credit: octarina8 <a href=”″>Whooping cough</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>(license)</a&gt;