Donald Trump has forgotten to attend the equal opportunities element of his Presidential induction training, meaning he won’t obtain his full induction certificate and that minorities should be afraid.

The 70 year old reigning champion of the Free World was due to attend the mandatory training session the day before his inauguration, where he was due to be joined by a range of other new White House staff starting on the same day.

When challenged about his non-attendance, Trump reportedly stated he’d been in a meeting with the CIA but his Twitter feed appeared to show him abusing an overweight female celebrity around the time of the session.

Course Facilitator Theresa Connell said: “I had my standard 96 slide PowerPoint presentation to do and even prepared some homemade biscuits.  I had some frosting on the top which I’d styled on the President’s hair.

“We were all very disappointed he didn’t show up, especially the new Mexican cleaners who all said they had some sort of ‘surprise’ for him.

“HR are going to go berserk too, they’re very meticulous about their files.”

Trump said: “OK I was busy tweeting abuse to ISIS and Rosie O’Donnell.  I think that’s a bit more important.

“I figured I’d also start planning a trip on a NASA rocket which would be pretty cool, I’ll probably tell everyone it’s related to keeping Martians out of America, I don’t know, some shit.

“Anyway I have to go, the gardeners are here to build a golf course of the front lawn on the White House, and it’s going to be a beautiful thing.”

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