A man from Swansea has explained to a group of friends that he could’ve made it as a footballer back in the day.

39 year old Pete Bowen from Sketty took the opportunity to hold court at a recent dinner party and give a verbal montage of his schoolboy footballing days. 

Bowen said: “Everyone was very impressed by my tales of playing Swansea Junior League football, especially when I gushed about the playing conditions at Mynydd Newydd in Penlan.

“I recounted one of the goals I once scored against Ynystawe and I could tell all the other men around the table were jealous of my exploits on the pitch.

“My Dad was once approached by someone with a Northern accent who complimented my skills, we both concluded he was from Manchester United and was keen on acquiring my services for the club.  

“Unfortunately we moved house soon after so I can only assume that little misdemeanour cost me a glittering career at Old Trafford, as Alex Ferguson couldn’t reach me by letter.”

Pete’s wife Theresa said: “He always rolls out this bullshit story about being a footballer whenever we’re with friends.  He thinks they’re impressed but really they’re just looking at him aghast and wondering what he’s going on about.

“I try to tell Pete that every man who’s played football at some point thinks they could have ‘made it’, but he’s insistent that his Under 15s side that came third in some Swansea League actually has some importance.

“You’re not a ‘Swansea League legend’, Pete.  You’re an annoying prick.”