A Muslim has been radicalised into a ‘mush’ after a Swansea mosque opened its doors to non-Muslims, it has emerged.

The mosque on St Helen’s Road opened its doors to the public to educate people about British Muslims, in what has been a divisive period for anyone who doesn’t have a Welsh blood line that reaches back to when a Danish king founded the city.

While the day was largely a success, one Muslim was radicalised into the way of the mush by a small minority of weak, absent minded people who like to watch Road Wars and wear grey tracksuits with black trainers.

Radicaliser Pete Bowen said: “I was sceptical at first. My wife made me go because she doesn’t think ‘anyone should hate anyone’ or some leftie bollocks.

“These Muzzies have no idea about British values like proper roast dinners, snorting any powder that’s white and watching your mates on Police, Camera Action.

“I got talking a nice little brown fella called Mustafa and it turns out he drank cups of tea and liked Bullseye, like me. I had to save him before he inevitably wandered up to Castle Street that evening and blew himself up, taking Kaspas with him.

“It’s been an impressive transformation; me and the boys have changed his name from Mustafa to Mush-taffy. We bought him a Stone Island jumper, Ed Hardy t-shirt, bootcut jeans and pointy loafers so he could look like a proper prick like us.

“Now he makes women feel uncomfortable after a few beers, drops litter on the floor and joins in when I beat the shit out of someone. He’s become a real valuable member of mush-iety.

“It’s amazing how you can like someone when you make them just like you. He’s our very own mushlim.”

photo credit: ndl642m <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/30581663@N05/28367088995″>Swansea – Wales</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;