Straight men have hit back at a study conducted by a University in California, by arguing that good sex isn’t what makes sex enjoyable.

One of the findings from the study from Chapman University concluded that 86% of lesbians enjoy an orgasm every time they have sex, compared to 66% of straight women.

Pete Bowen from Swansea said: “I’ve had a look at the survey and I think it’s a load of bollocks.

“I have more of no-nonsense approach to sex. None of this ‘kissing’ and ‘foreplay’. It’s a bit like doing the washing up, most of the time the person doing the washing up finishes before the person doing the drying.”

Pete’s wife Cheryl said: “After 15 years of being with Pete, I can definitely say having low expectations is a key secret. I don’t know why he uses that washing up analogy because he’s shite at that too.”

Theresa Connell said: “I’d love to read the findings of the research, but I’m too busy having mind blowing sex with my girlfriend.

“Seriously, it would make Sharon Stone blush. We just can’t stop stimulating each other’s vaginas until we go off like a volcano.”

Pete added: “Please stop.”