Innovators at the Highways Department in Swansea Council have announced that anti-clockwise roundabouts will be installed between Sketty Lane and the White Rose to ‘help congestion’.

Council officials have explained that the move will help the Authority hit its target of making trips to the Gower painfully inconvenient for residents and holidaymakers, insisting the plans are a ‘first of its kind’ and will bring notable successes to Swansea’s transport links, rather like a big bendy bus.

Once implemented, the anti-clockwise roundabouts will give road users the option of cursing at Swansea Council as they try to manoeuvre it or just crash.

Highways spokesperson Pete Bowen said: “What better way to take in all that Swansea Bay has to offer than by sitting in a massive traffic jam when trying to get home or visit a beach with the family?  Although we are tempted to fill the promenade with huge advertising hoardings which may block any view of the bay itself.

“We recognise a trip to SA3 isn’t complete without people screaming at something that’s completely out of their control from the confined of whatever sweaty vehicle they’re in.  Our plans are set to increase road traffic accidents and congestion by 800%.

“The best thing of all is that changes will mean we overspend our budget by £4.8m, so if you think the giant pothole at the bottom of your road is being fixed, you can think again.”

Mumbles resident Theresa Connell said: “I think it’s great, under the current system it only takes an hour for me to travel from Singleton Hospital to Mumbles in the summer.

“This way I’ll have some extra me-time listening to Abba in the car away from the kids, who’ll inevitably be in bed by the time I get home every night.”

 

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