Swansea’s hopes of being the City of Culture in 2021 have been dealt an early and violent blow, as one of the judges have been assaulted outside the Potter’s Wheel.

Swansea Council have taken an unusually proactive approach to their next bid, inviting the judges to the city to enjoy a series of cultural events including show with the Morriston man who can burp the national anthem and a rap battle in the Potter’s Wheel.

A Council spokesperson said: “We lost to Hull last time.  Fucking Hull.  Hull’s like the Neath of the North of England.

“We have to be pragmatic this time around, so we thought we’d flex our cultural muscles early on.  The Potter’s Wheel rap battles in particular are very unique, although we’d rather have some poetry recitals.”

Aspiring rapper Pete Bowen said: “I call my act SWT, because I’ve been banned from all the buses for indecent exposure.

“I like to rap about life and shit, my favourite rap is called ‘Feed Me Weed’ which has a hidden message about me getting really stoned.

“These fellas were sitting in the Wheel making notes and generally being English.  One of them was wearing a tweed coat, so I knocked him out.”

The Council spokesperson said: “We think it’s a minor blip and we look forward to welcoming the judges back to watch a Penlan FC game up Mynedd Newydd and a guided tour around Tudno.”


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