The demolition of the old Oceana on the Kingsway is full of surprises, as a woman’s dignity has been found after she lost it in the club in 2008.

Work on the site has already been a massive success, with the Council’s target of overspending on commercial ventures already exceeded by millions of pounds.

In addition to finds like asbestos, an unopened packet of Lambert & Butler and a fully working glow stick, construction workers hit upon something personal belonging to Theresa Connell from Llansamlet.

Site Manager Pete Bowen said: “It was like when they open the briefcase on Pulp Fiction and they’re met with that glow.  Only this one was covered in pubic hair and stank of shame.

“We located it in the old men’s toilets, so I’m guessing whatever Theresa was doing in there at the time soon turned a bit sordid.”

Theresa said: “Oh my God right, I’ve been looking for that ages.  I thought I’d left it in Magaluf that year, but losing it in Oceana would explain my behaviour out there.

“I could’ve done with having this over the last 9 years, to be honest.  I’ve done some pretty shameful things, cringing like!

“Never mind, what’s done is done.  At least that’s what I told the Bonymaen RFC’s youth team when I left their changing rooms in 2009.”

 

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