Scientology is being introduced into Swansea schools to replace Biology as a fail safe way to boost the country’s Pisa ratings.

Education Secretary Kirsty Williams is hoping the introduction of a religion created by a science fiction writer will help engage young people and boost attainment.

A Welsh Government spokesperson said: “Biology is actually quite difficult for pupils in pig class education and as Scientology is a load of bollocks you can’t really fail it.

“Using religion to manipulate thick kids is a good strategy. It’s also important that strong heterosexual figures like Tom Cruise and John Travolta represent the religion.”

Kirsty Williams added: “Its an exciting change to the curriculum in Wales. Our approach is to change stuff all the time, the last thing kids need is consistency.

“As a Lib Dem member you can be sure that there will never be any broken promises regarding education from my party.

“We will deliver this and your children will be convinced that we’re all reincarnated aliens who used to live with each other on other planets. You really have nothing to worry about.”

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