A burly man’s man from Cockett is developing warm and fuzzy feelings towards Swansea City talisman Gylfi Sigurdsson, it’s been revealed.
Warehouse Operative Pete Bowen, 38, has explained that he feels confused by the thoughts he’s been having and daren’t discuss them with his girlfriend Theresa.
Sigurdsson has been a key player for the club all season and has subsequently aroused Bowen’s interest in a footballer for the first time since Lee Trundle arrived at the club with a mullet haircut.
Bowen said: “I’m very confused by it all. On the weekend, Gylfi produced a glorious back-heel which set up a goal and my testicles began to twitch.
“I don’t think I want to do anything sexual with him, maybe just gaze longingly into his eyes and exfoliate his naked skin in the bath. Perhaps snuggle up in our dressing gowns and watch terrible Icelandic films with subtitles? I haven’t really given it much thought.
“Whatever it is, it’s definitely not gay.”
Pete’s girlfriend Theresa Connell added: “I’m not sure what’s going on with him, but the last time Pete and I had sex he closed his eyes and started doing the Viking Thunder-Clap the Iceland players did in the Euros.”