Men and women across the country are suddenly leering in the direction of ex-Chancellor George Osborne, in the week he announced he’ll be earning £650k a year for one company while only working 4 days a month.

That, on top of his MP salary and earnings from after-dinner speeches, means Osborne will net around £1.6m in earnings this year as well as successfully pulling off the high-vis/hard hat ensemble he so often donned on BBC Breakfast.

Theresa Connell, 32 said: “I don’t know what it is, but suddenly I want him to root around my little red box.

“I like a man who has the ability to walk into a room and really shake things up.  If you think about it he never really gave a shit about anyone, the archetypal bad boy of politics.  Disabled?  Find a new way to walk.  Caring for someone?  Not interested.  Bless him!

“I think even Georgie would admit it was time to move into some new ventures, I mean what was left to cut?  If he’d have kept going he’d have cut poor people’s hair off so they could be a little colder, but only to help to motivate them to find a better job and pay higher rent on a warmer house.

“I had a dream last night that he and I were making a naughty home movie, laying on a money bed, guffawing loudly at ghastly northerners and applying foundation to each other’s faces.”


photo credit: mrgarethm <a href=”″>George Osborne</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>(license)</a&gt;