Hipsters have begun to commandeer Castle Square in Swansea City Centre, because its so ‘epically shit’.
Onlookers have reported a sharp rise in young people wearing high vis jackets, trilbies and genital crushing jeans. All riding vintage bikes and slating Jeremy Corbyn for being too right wing.
Hipster Theresa Connell said: “I just love the postmodernism of the concrete, although I worry concrete is becoming too mainstream, I’m starting to see it everywhere.
“I definitely think they should call it Castle Gardens again, because there’s no plants anymore so it can’t be a garden. That would be so ironic and I fucking love irony.
“I just know that the people throwing money into the fountain are releasing themselves from the shackles of the capitalist culture of Swansea City Centre.”
City Centre Ranger Pete Bowen said: “I’m not really sure what they’re doing here, they keep pestering me for a wifi code so they can update their blogs.
“I prefer the substance abusers. It’s a lot quicker to clean up empty calls of Special Brew than pretentious bullshit.
“The Police are no help either, they have a handy banning system for addicts, which really helps them out. Apparently you can’t ban someone for drinking artisan coffee and having a Hitler moustache.”
Theresa added: “We’re going to move onto Parc Tawe next and make that place cool. Perhaps we’ll race around on penny farthing bikes and meditate in Plantasia amongst all the nature.”
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