A Gowerton couple who are thoroughly fucked off with their jobs, have decided to start some sort of business after drinking two bottles of Jacob’s Creek.

Functioning alcoholics Pete Bowen and Theresa Connell are sick and tired of how they’re treated in work and their stagnant private sector salaries.

Theresa said: “We have the same conversation every week while school-night drinking and watching Dragon’s Den.

“Pete did some rough calculations on his iPhone and we’d be millionaires in six months, holidaying with Richard Branson on his Island twice a year and doing our weekly shop in M&S.”

Pete said: “I’m constantly overlooked for promotions and there’s not even any fit women in the office anymore.

“I’m no accountant, but we could be making some serious cash. We’ve had a bit of a falling out because I said I’m buying a Porsche 911 and Theresa wants to buy a more practical 4×4, but that’s business for you.”

Business Advisor Cheryl Gray said: “The nighttime is the busiest time of day for us. These people get a few drinks down them and they think they’re Gordon Gecko.

“I received Theresa and Pete’s ‘business plan’ at 11:48pm. It consisted of a screenshot of a calculator which had £6,200,000 typed it into it and a sketch of a palm tree, there’s no business here, not even a concept.” 

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