People who call Wind Street ‘Wine Street’ without using it as a metaphor for being shit-faced on wine, will face banning orders from the city centre.

A partnership between South Wales Police and Swansea Council has been developed to counteract the misinterpretation of the road’s name. The scheme will be funded by leftover European money which needs to be spent before Brexit is concluded.

South Wales Police spokesman Pete Bowen said: “We receive a lot of complaints from the public on this. My own son called it ‘Wine Street’ the other day, so I tasered him and locked him up in central overnight.

“Catching real criminals is huge drain on resources, so we’re going to deploy officers from other departments to trawl Facebook and find the culprits who think it’s genuinely called ‘Wine’ Street, then ban them from coming into the city.

“We’re drafting in TV Channel Dave to do a special on it called Police, Grammar, Action.”

City Centre Ranger Theresa Connell said: “We’re delighted to be part of this operation to bring the large, unruly gangs of people in Swansea who say ‘wind’ incorrectly to justice.

“We rangers can now adopt MI5 level powers, which entitles us to hack into your social media accounts, read your text messages and threaten you with punishments we’re not entitled to give you.

“We’ve been given police issued walkie-talkies too, so we’re now the law and are rebranding as Power Rangers.”

photo credit: ndl642m <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/30581663@N05/15011017328″>Swansea – Wales</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

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