Swansea Business Improvement District has admitted that the opening of a new Primark in Llanelli is a major concern for the future of the City Centre.

The value retailer has been teasing Llanelli like a BDSM mistress for months about a new store in Parc Trostre, and concerns from the BID team have been relayed for the first time.

BID spokesperson Theresa Connell said: “At first we didn’t take Primark’s announcement seriously because we didn’t really think anyone in Llanelli could afford Primark clothes, not from new at least.

“After some careful analysis, we realised that the pull of a new Primark will drive people in their droves out of many parts of Swansea. We also found that you can actually get buses and trains to Llanelli too, who on Earth commissioned this?

“We naturally went to our go-to plan and arranged some pound-per-hour parking in the NCPs, but it’s free to park in Parc Trostre so we’re fresh out of ideas now.

“The same thing happened in Newport, they’ve got a shit City Centre too. It was reasonably busy and then Primark opened a brand new store in Cwmbran. Free parking, the lot.

“Now the only people you see in Newport town centre are accident claims people and shoppers who put the wrong post code in for Primark Cwmbran and are looking to get out. It’s a disaster, we’re going to be like one of those Chinese ghost cities, or worse, Newport”

Primark spokesman Pete Bowen said: “Whatever, we’re still going to make bag loads of cash. I’m not kidding, we literally carry all the money you spend in our stores in those big brown paper bags.”

photo credit: AJ Yakstrangler <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/10354154@N05/31781674024″>29 Jan 2017 Nottingham (7)</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

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