Gorseinon is to be relegated to Llanelli as Swansea Council look for further ways to save money.

The town, thrust upon Swansea in 1996 like an unwanted dick pic, has quietly achieved some acceptance thanks to the Roma chip shop.

However, as money has become tight, we can reveal the Council is looking to be creative with the Turk border to rid Gorseinon from its area of responsibility.

Council spokesperson Theresa Connell said: “You know that friend that no one remembers to invite to parties? That’s Gorseinon. No one hates her, she’s just an afterthought because sometimes she get too drunk and causes a scene.

“Occasionally you’ll hear a distant relative has moved there and you just say ‘oh, OK’. So it’s for the best that we get a little creative with the border and relegate it to become Llanelli’s problem.

“If we pulled some decent Council Tax revenue in from them it’d be fine, but they don’t call in Go-sign-on for nothing.”

Resident Pete Bowen said: “I’m shocked we’re being dumped into Llanelli ownership, we have a thriving ASDA.

“It’s a cultured town, you know? The Gyp was ahead of its time, it opened 24 hours a long time before licensing laws were brought in, but from what I hear you can get quite a lot of drugs in Llanelli, so maybe it’s not such a bad thing.”

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