The last known monkey to be living in Morriston is leaving the area, it has emerged.
Monkey Pete Bowen has spent his life living in Monkey Town, but is feeling isolated since his infants moved out and his wife left him for a Gibbon from Birchgrove.
Pete said: “I was born in this very house. Morriston’s not what it was, we live in a human state now. I’ve said for years they’d take over the area, and they have.
“My house is terraced and you can smell human food coming through the walls. There was a time where all you could smell from next door was piles of faeces, now it’s all chips and omelettes.
“Humans made no attempt to integrate with monkey life after moving into Morriston. Every time a new one arrived I’d cover myself in my own urine to mark my territory and they’d be over anyway, asking to borrow a lighter.
“I was bored the other day and asked my human neighbour if I could groom his son, he told me has was going to ‘go ape’, which was racist. His son looked like he had loads of fleas though, so I don’t see what the problem was.
“Anyway, I’m off to one of those new build flats off High Street. On a clear day I can take in some spectacular views of Plantasia.”
photo credit: Cloudtail the Snow Leopard <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/57256462@N07/33330862672″>Chimp</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a>