The Bank of Mum & Dad Group has announced huge losses today, as the sustainability of the lending route comes into serious question.
The organisation, largely made up of people aged 55+ who had a wealth of job opportunities and decades of success accidentally making money on property, is currently failing due to the inability of borrowers to pay any money back.
The wealth creation from many so-called ‘baby boomers’ is currently subsidising the relatively tough conditions faced by their children, supporting them to cover excessive rents, Sauvignon Blanc and cocaine.
Theresa Connell, a 32 year old Strategic Development Consultant living in Uplands told us, “My parents bought their council house in 1981 for £5,000 and sold it in 2009 for £300k.
“My job has a great title, I enjoy saying it to everyone, but like me they don’t really know what it is I do.
“The rent alone on my studio flat is 85% of my take home earnings. So I get about a grand a month off them so I can keep whitening my teeth and buy a fuck load of kale.”
While the baby boomers enjoy final salary pensions, free bus passes and massive returns on property, it’s understood the Bank of Mum & Dad set up is losing money hand-over-fist as they plough their profits back into their children.
Mum Marge Connell, 67, said: “We’ve got more money than we know what to do with. We know it’s hard for young people and we’re happy to help, but we still chuck in stories about outdoor toilets and having a torch for Christmas and getting the batteries for it for our birthday, just to make them feel even shitter.”
photo credit: Sander Muller <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/129223947@N08/28392590592″>Crested</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a>