A recently divorced middle-aged man from Dunvant has booked his first ever tattoo, it has emerged.

Pete Bowen, 43, signed his divorce papers last week and after completing the usual break-up process of sharing authorless positivity memes and buying Superdry clothes, he’s ready to ‘take his life forward’ by getting a tattoo.

Pete said: “I’m definitely not masking the hurt I caused by cheating on my wife with Carol from Accounts by getting a tattoo. This is a positive stage in my life, you’re only as young as the woman you feel and all that.

“It’s a toss-up between having ‘sexy older man available for no guilt fun’ written in Chinese or a tribal tattoo, which are shit and went out of style in the 90s, but Swansea lads still seem to be covering themselves with these things that look like long, black octopus tentacles.

“I’m also going to sell the Ford C-Max and buy a convertible 2002 Toyota MR2; the ladies are going to love it. Roof down, U2 blaring, tattoo on display but above all else, ‘experience’.

“I’ve started going to the gym every day so I can stare at women who are 20 years younger than me while I sit there sweating without doing any exercise, life is really, really good for me at the moment and I’m in such a good place.”

Pete’s friend Rob Gray added: “We’re all looking on in wonderment at Pete’s life; he’s doing everything I want to do. I quite fancy having a ‘no regrets’ tattoo, but I regret everything.”

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