Swansea Council have officially made the tip terrifying for the general public, a survey has found.

Following the roll out of routine black bag searches and cheery, chatty and helpful council workers, everyone is massively spun out.

Pete Bowen from Llansamlet said: “The tip used to be a place on sanctity for me. I could wander in head down, swimming deeply in my hate filled thoughts towards my wife and my job before carelessly chucking a black bag with mixed rubbish into a big tin thing.

“Not anymore.”

Theresa Bowen from Sketty said: “I’m behind recycling as a concept, but I’m also keen on bundling all my rubbish into one bag.

“I used to just nip around to Derwen Fawr tip, give the boys a smile and bung 7 bags of rubbish into non-recyclables and be on my way.

“Life was great until the staff had to open my bags up and search through them. It was so embarrassing, especially when they found all of the wine bottles, ice cream cartons and tear soaked Kleenex. I don’t think I can ever go back now.”

Rob Gray from Gendros said: “The staff are so upbeat and helpful. They keep telling jokes and offering to help me carry heavy things.

“I don’t pay my council tax for this.

“I want surly jobsworths who knock off early and make me feel like I’m going to get a punch in the face when I ask where garden waste goes.” 

photo credit: Martin Cooper Ipswich <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/92899351@N08/32868510810″>Floral recycling</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;