A Landore family have created a stir after sitting in the section of Langland beach that only locals are allowed to sit in.
The Bowen family visited the beach for the first time last weekend, usually opting for Caswell Bay, but as the car park was full they decided to visit Langland instead.
Langland resident Theresa Connell said: “It’s an unwritten but established rule, if you live in SA3 you sit on the side where the surf hut is. If you live anywhere else you sit on the side by the hole in the wall and all the rocks.
“I was sat in the Surfside Cafe when I clocked them and I immediately knew something wasn’t right.
“Maybe it was the way they didn’t fawn over the old guys who used to surf who always stand by the slip, maybe it was the clothing from multiple value retailers.
“I pointed them out to my friend and she confirmed my fear, they were townies. You think you’ve been shocked before, but then you see someone unpacking towels and pastry goods from a Lidl bag on our side of the beach.
“Everyone in the cafe, staff included, headed to the outside seating area to watch what was about to unfold next. The children didn’t even have any Quicksilver on and we all agreed it’s what watching the Calais jungle must have been like.”
Dad Pete Bowen said: “Who knew a beach could have a class divide? We had what felt like a hundred and one judgemental eyes on us.
“I really wanted a can of Carling and a rolly but I don’t think that would’ve gone down too well, especially after the audible shock I heard when I brought out the polystyrene surf board.
“We knew we had to leave but couldn’t face walking past them all so we walked across the beach and were met by some of our own, they were so relaxed and didn’t even tut when I revealed my Primark speedo style trunks.
“It was a strange experience, the beach is supposed to be fun but it was so territorial.”
Theresa added: “I think we sent out a clear message today. Townies aren’t welcome this side of the beach.
“Take your supermarket brand crisps elsewhere please. It’s prosecco, credit card debt and broken dreams only down here.”
photo credit: Gareth1953 All Right Now <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/40837632@N05/7389280222″>Dymchurch Beach – May 2012 – Tights on the Beach Candid</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a>
Omg what snobs I hope this is a joke
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It is. But Langland can be territorial when it comes to using the beach for surfing.
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I was thinking the same thing. I bloody hope it was a joke.
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You cannot be serious who do these potential people think they are very sad as we are all from Swansea. There are much nicer beaches down the Gower.
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April 1st was a couple of weeks ago!!!!!
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The whole thing is a parody mind…
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Pete Bowen has a rather silly Facebook page – along the lines of this ‘funny’!
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Me thinks some don’t get the great British sarcastic humour. (I’m from the eastside) 😂😂😂
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Yeah right the Snobs own the Beach…I’m going to go down there in the most commen clothing I can find and wait for the stuck up pigs to Stuart. What right do they have to say that Townies cannot use a certain part of that beach we don’t tell them do not use the city centre as it’s ours as we live there. I’ve never heard something so stupid in my whole life in Swansea and I was born here. Stuck up Assholes😡😡
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It is a joke. It is a satirical page.
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This is a classic example of satire, and very much a tounge in cheek account of a fictional beach visit. It’s in a similar vein of humour as Have I Got New For You or The Fast show
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Cheeky sods .bet they buy in lidl and primark and just use a m&s carried.
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I hope this was a joke but I suspect not far from the truth. Such snobs in langland. People with hand me down money from parents who made theirs from the same people they look down on. The beach belongs to everyone. Think I may take a trip there with my Tesco carrier bag full of sarnies lol
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I was born and bred in Mumbles but now live in Hafod, and I’m happy to take Lidls food/carriers with me whether it’s the beach or somewhere else. My parents did me a favour by moving
This is the same woman who was hiding fro her snobby mate in Aldi for 3 hours…wouldn’t know what class was if she was in school if you ask me
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Do they own the beach grow up
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What a load of nonsense, bloody idiots get a life you sad people lmas
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No offence but you stuck up cow! You don’t own the beach!!!
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snobby asses… that’s filled me with anger!
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Seriously?? I live in Swansea so will sit where I want!!
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Can someone explain where I’m allowed to sit please? I live in SA2 so I guess it’ll be somewhere in the middle?
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Me too!! See my comment at the end 😊
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Do some people really not get that this is a parody website??? Check out the other articles 😂😂
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Have these posh cunts got nothing better to moan about! It’s NOT their beach!!!
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It’s a bloody disgrace. People without an SA3 postcode* thinking they can just turn up at Langland. Who the ruddy hell do they think they are? They should have to show their council tax bills if they want to sit anywhere on Langland.
*Obvs West Cross is not really SA3 and ‘Crossers should be barred also.
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I couldn’t give s f… how rich you are. Unless you bought the beach I’ll sit there and I’ll tell you where to go you rich scum bag. Being rich from hard work is one thing but to think you are better human than that family then you’re more of a moron than u think. Discusted at your comment is an understatement (if u live on sa3) fuck you scum bag that’s what’ll say. People like you is the problem now a days grrrrrrr
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Sorry you feel that way Ed. I’m going to buy Langland off Swansea Council first thing Tuesday, that way we’ll all know where we stand.
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Oh dear I initially thought that this was true but reading further, soon realised that its a joke. Makes you realise that people obviously feel there is a class war. That can only happen if we allow it to, so lets not
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The fact that so many think this is a true story pretty much justifies the segregation exemplified in the story.
No. No you can’t sit near me on the beach. Or anywhere else for that matter. Your stupid may be contagious and I don’t want my children to catch it. 👍
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This strikes a chord for me. Growing up on that beach, living in west cross, now living in llansamlet and couldn’t be happier. Its a great piece of observational comedy writing but I feel that it is lost on a lot who have replied? Just to clarify people the people in the story do not exist but could quite easily do so. It is something I would say describes ‘some’ locals in an extreme but fair light however does not represent all locals – to be clear for all ranters! Lol.
Than you to the author – awesome piece of work.
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I am born and bred in Newton and in my child days would have classed myself then as a middle class. We used to have our spot next to the slip, its not there now,But we as locals 45 yrs ago used to hate what we referred to as Coomers {Ppl from the valleys} they used to come down in the coach load as common scum of the earth type of ppl. So 45 yrs later Its still going on I for one am not surprised and No its not a joke
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I live now IN Aberdulais and would class myself as a coomer those very [ scum of the earth type
I am also very common now fallin gon hard times myself after my experience of living in Sa1 SA6 SA10 ect So where exactly am I to sit is unknown.
We as kids used to go down Langland with our banana sandwiches and the slip would have been in the centre of the beach but to the right {Locals only sea }
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It’s satire people!! Get a grip!
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Looking on Google Earth ” Alma Rd ” Langland Bay is the clear divine to where ” The Slip ” would have been, Maybe a point I should add to the right of the slip is where the locals would sit, down the far end you have ” The Langland Brasserie ” Where a Roast Beef sandwich costs around £9 Maybe there is still some Snobness left in Langland after all
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Never read such utter crap in my life! This person must live in la la land!
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I find this amusing that people think this is true , I live in Langland and I have never come across this “rule” I sit wherever I can as the beach is always busy. If anyone has noticed the image on this article isn’t even Langland!!
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Unbelievable to think that this mentality is alive and kicking in Swansea. If this is true the people of Langland should be ashamed and disgraced of themselves to think you own a certain side of a beach just because you live locally. Grow up the beach is for everyone to enjoy and doesn’t have any discrimination. What’s next are the residents of Langland going to put signs up on the beach, locals only this side / Townies on this side???
I urge all swansea ‘townies’ to use this side of the beach from now on and bring their Lidls and Aldi bags with their picnic goodies and sit on the beach by the surfside cafe.
Such snobbery is not needed you are no better than anyone else and to make such comments is embarrassing to all.
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This is a joke right.?? At the end of the day we all get carted off in a wooden box . Hysterical
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oh my, I was thinking of visiting from my home in Sonoma, but when the locals see my Tommy Bahama shirt they will know I don’t belong!
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I am screaming here, what a snob she is, I bet shes an English immigrant because she dont sound like a friendly welsh person at all. Get a life you stuck up cow.
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Hahaha !! So there you are screeching about her being English, and not a nice Welshy .. well the English have all worked out this is ‘satire’ a Parody , a JOKE !! So wind your neck in and be less quick to be racist in the future .. you’ve made yourself look like a twit !!
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This is one of the funniest pieces of ingenious writing I’ve come across since Trump happened. Some of the comments are even more hilarious. It’s a joke people. However, having been born and bred in Winch Wen (SA1) before moving to SA3 (Langland/Newton), where I lived for 15 years, the scenario of a Langland beach class divide is very close to the truth. Being of ‘Townie’ origin, I always felt like a bit of an outsider. Nevertheless, funny as 😂😂. I now live in SA2… so my question would also be “would I sit in the middle somewhere?”
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Love this blog!
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Feck they be down loughor next is there no escape from the common people
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Some people have too much time on their hands.
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Anyone who believes this nonsense is thicker than they can possibly imagine! I have been going to Langland Bay for the last 60 years and I can assure everyone that this is absolute rubbish! It isn’t even a picture of Langland Bay. Why people get pleasure by trying to cause trouble like this beats me.
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THIS HAS TO BE A JOKE !!!!!!!
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Please please tell me this is a joke – it’s a beach !
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Some one needs to remind these people of Langland we all poo I’n the same place and all die and and go to the same place we are all the same , perhaps they should get their heads out of their ass cause it’s full of shit just like them fuming how they dare make children think they not good enough !!!!!
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