The son of God has spoken out with disapproval about the behaviour of some people who live in Swansea. 

In a rare interview, Jesus has confirmed that fake tanning, consuming drugs for pleasure and idolising the Kardashians are not valid reasons for his sacrifice.

Jesus said: “I’m a bit put out, I had a bit more to offer in my life. I had a maturing property portfolio and some sound investments in vineyards, but I gave it all up for your sins.

“I felt that by dying I could release a bit of pressure on people who blasphemed occasionally, or had homosexual thoughts. Definitely not snorting powder bought from Chinese websites or fake tanning.

“I understand things change, but the modern version of the resurrection shouldn’t be going out two nights in a row on an hours sleep.”

Theresa Connell from Bonymaen said: “I have a lot in common with Jesus, I feed my children selectively and my Dad’s a carpenter.

“I don’t see what his problem his, he had a book deal and a film on the back of it and he got up a few days later.”

photo credit: Antonio Calero Garcia <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/114666927@N08/34055082805″>La Pasión</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

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