A Lycra clad cyclist managed to ride his bike along the front without acting like a nob at the same time, it has emerged.

Middle aged Pete Bowen, 43, ventures out every Saturday and Sunday in testicle hugging gear with a group of similarly aged friends who enjoy time away from their families while not at work.

Onlooker Theresa Connell said: “I was out having a walk with my toddler Frankie and I guess I’d become a little distracted in the narrow part of the prom between Oyster Wharf and the park.

“As I was scrolling through Instagram I heard the familiar sound of panting charging down the cycle lane and thought ‘shit, my son’, like you do.

“It’s not the first time he’s wandered into traffic, but you get a far warmer reception for child neglect on the Mumbles Road than venturing in front of a cyclist. It can be quite intimidating being shouted at by someone who shouldn’t be wearing such skin tight clothing in public.

“Having someone ringing a bell which sounds like it belongs on an 8 year old’s bike and obnoxiously shouting ‘this is a bike lane’ is up there with the bubonic plague as one of the most frustrating things that happen in your life.

“To the disgust of his of his friends he just slowed down and was really nice about it, another walker practically fainted and nearly fell through the railings into the water.”

Pete said: “It was a momentary lapse of concentration. In my head I was pretending to be completing a lap of honour at an Olympic velodrome and in a daze I thought the child was stopping me for an autograph.

“Next week I’ll be back with a vengeance and I won’t let this mistake ruin the entitlement I have over people who are too lazy to look as good as I do in my hot pink Lycra.

“Is that all? I just need to go and look online at penis enlargement techniques. I can’t take the tablets in case they have a banned substance in them, which would be the only reason Team GB wouldn’t call me up.” 

 

photo credit: fourway333 <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/81421369@N04/20675806821″>uas1</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

 

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