A 41 year old Sales Rep from Gowerton who spent a night in the Ibis in Birmingham this week, completely forgot to masturbate when he was there, it has emerged.
Dad of the three Pete Bowen usually welcomes the opportunity to spend time away from his family on his business trips and enjoy some ‘me time’ after checking into some of his favourite websites.
Pete said: “I could bloody kick myself, talk about a missed opportunity. I’ll never get that time back again, well, not until I stay in the Travelodge on the A1(M) next week.
“I’d embarked on my usual sensual routine of picking up a Ginsters pasty and four-pack of Carlsberg and felt excited about maxing out my subscription to AsianMILFS.com.
“I gave the receptionist ‘that’ nod you give them as you hurry up to your room, dragging your cheap Moss Bros suit which is in a Harvey Nichols bag you picked up from somewhere. They know what time it is, business time.
“I’m not sure what happened on the night, it’s a bit of a blur, but I think I was carried away by a gripping episode of Masterchef where John and Gregg were calling blackberries something exotic, then a typically engaging episode of First Dates came on and I may have cried a bit when a guy from Essex who I thought was going to be a prick ended up really loving his Nan.
“I think I spent half an hour searching for a picture of him and his Nan together on Twitter and just crashed out. I’m pretty concerned; maybe I should get some pills?”
Pete’s wife Theresa said: “Pete’s been very grouchy since coming back from his business trip, maybe he didn’t manage to sell any of the refrigerator parts he sells, or was it fire doors? I don’t know, it’s just nice that he goes away.
“Maybe on the weekend I’ll turn Google Safe Search off on the PC and leave him on his own for 20 minutes.”