A man from Caswell who lives with his parents in a big detached house worth £650,000 told his new work colleagues that he lives in a semi-detached house in Mumbles which is only worth £350,000 to conceal how posh he is, we can reveal.
22 year old Pete Bowen recently began working in Days in Plasmarl as an Admin Assistant because his parents are friends with the Day family, but felt his upper/middle-class background could hinder workplace relations with some of his colleagues from Swansea East.
Pete said: “This is my first real job, I did want to start off with some sort of Director-level role but they didn’t have anything going so I figured I’d do this until they did. It’s only fair that I start earning some money so my parents can see a return on the £60k they spent on my private education, that saw me walk away with a cool five GCSE ‘C’ grades.
“I arrived for my induction in the brand new BMW 3 Series my parents bought me for getting the job, which fortunately has built in satellite navigation because I wasn’t even aware there was a place called ‘Plasmarl’. I was then introduced to some beefy men with stubble, dirty fingernails and accents I thought only existed on TV.
“They were friendly enough, but it took six attempts for me to understand that the one in overalls, who was ruggedly attractive in a completely heterosexual way, who asked me where I lived. At first I was going to lie in case he was going to come and rob me, but then I thought ‘I need some credibility here’ and told him I lived in downmarket Mumbles.
“He responded ‘ooh posh boy’, which I was quite surprised at really because people in Mumbles aren’t even Bishopston Comprehensive School catchment area and I think a lot of them work in only slightly above average earning jobs.
“Anyway, I quickly changed my accent to suit theirs because I’m a real social chameleon like that, and said ‘yeah well, my Mum was brought up in Treboeth so really I’m from there’, she actually was, that bit isn’t a lie but she doesn’t like to tell anyone in her social circle about it.”
Valeter Rob Gray said: “We already knew where he lived because one of the Days came in and told us, so we’re all a bit confused about why he lied, no one here gives a shit.
“He’s certainly had a busy start anyway, we asked him to find us some sparks for the welder and a beeping noise for the car horns; we haven’t seen him for a week.”
photo credit: danielfoster437 <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/17423713@N03/18086628552″>Smiling</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>(license)</a>