A 36 year old man from Fforestfach is thoroughly mystified as to why all of his clothes appear to be shrinking.

Warehouse Operative Pete Bowen has been wearing medium tops and 34″ jeans for as long as he can remember, but has recently had undo a button to prevent the onset of stomach cramps.

Pete said: “Over the last six years my clothes have been shrinking, it’s baffling.

“I don’t own a pair of boxer shorts where I don’t have to fold over the waistband for comfort and my t-shirts seem to be rising, I’m dreading summer.

“We’ve tried everything, changing detergents, putting my clothes on a cool wash and not washing them at all. My wife Theresa reckons I should go for a run, but I don’t see how that’ll help.”

Theresa added: “Its not looking good for Pete, he seems completely oblivious to the fact his body his spreading like an ice cream melting in the sun.

“I’ve tried to introduce some clean eating into his diet but it’s hard to do it subtly, especially when he’s putting away a big bag of Maltesers and a couple of Carlsbergs every night.”

Pete continued: “I seem to remember a holiday to Ibiza in 1998 where I blitzed a load of gurners across a two week period.

“When I got back all my clothes were really loose, so I think I’ll try that again.” 

photo credit: The Urban Scot <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/57676038@N06/32867097260″>47/100 Paul</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

Advertisements