A man who competed in a ‘tough mudder’ event over the weekend can’t stop fucking talking about it, we can reveal.
37 year old Pete Bowen entered the event because he was envious about how handsome his friend looked at the previous year’s event, even scoring Facebook likes from the fit girl from the year above in school.
Pete said: “Completing a petrifying obstacle course while panting and covered in mud is the best Sunday I’ve had since I had those mushrooms in Amsterdam in 2006.
“Makes for some great Facebook content too. There’s 10 years worth of profile pictures from this weekend, which is useful as my kids aren’t cute anymore. I can also post cryptic messages that only people who were the would get, people love that.
“Lots of the guys from my team which was called the ‘dirty thirties’ will tell you it’s about the camaraderie and teamwork, but really it’s so I can share lots of pictures of me looking like a hunky, mud covered Neanderthal.
“I was telling everyone in the office about it yesterday and they were lapping it up, people were in awe of me.
“Carol from Accounts got a bit jealous and started talking about her Mum who’d just died, I told her ‘you do the Block Ness Monster obstacle from Tough Mudder, then you’ll know pain.'”
Pete’s wife Theresa added: “He keeps going out the back garden, covering himself in mud and coming in shouting ‘legionnaire, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh’, like he’s part of some self absorbed mud cult.
“Everyone in our social circle has hidden his Facebook updates, so have I, but he keeps showing me pictures of himself anyway.”
Pete said: “I’ve already signed up to next year’s event and I’ve invited all of my unfit and ugly friends to join me. They get a discount and I get to laud my mud superiority status over them.”
photo credit: sfkjr <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/49840571@N02/30578874950″>Pensacola Mudrun 2016</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a>