A 42 year old man from Cockett has been lecturing his younger work colleagues about how shit town is compared to when he last went there 15 years ago.

Housing Officer Pete Bowen made the comments while his colleagues made post work drink plans without including him.

Pete said: “Most of the guys in the office are younger than me, but you can’t put an age on experience.

“They were on about going out and drinking things like Jäger bombs in places called Peppermint. Sounds like a trip to a German mint factory, it’s not for me.

“I’m not at all put out that I wasn’t invited, who needs Peppermint when you go home and look at pictures of yourself gurning from the ‘proper pills’ they used to have in Martha’s?

“I told them in my day you had to wear ‘town trousers’ to get into cool places, and a collar. Nowadays it’s all vests and ripped jeans, it lacks dignity.

“It’s not like the old days. It was proper then.”

Pete’s colleague Theresa Connell, 23, said: “He’s such a boring old twat. What’s a Quids Inn anyway? It sounds like a terrible fruit machine.

“He keeps slating all the music calling it ‘noise’ and saying it has no substance in comparison to the music from his day. But then tells us about a song called The Ketchup Song by a band called Las Ketchup.

“While we’re sniffing ketamine in the toilets of Bambu Beach Bar, he’ll be crying over Enrique Iglesias music and sipping on a bottle of 20/20.”

Pete added: “I wouldn’t go anyway, I’ve dug out my old cassettes and my VHS collection of the original Cold Feet.”

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