A man from Morriston thought that getting a Dad bod was some sort of ‘must have summer accessory’, we can exclusively reveal.
Sales Manager Pete Bowen, 37, stumbled across an article about the body style but misinterpreted the story’s context.
Pete said: “I’ve been working on my new Dad bod ever since I saw an article about it before Christmas.
“I’ve stuck to a water tight routine, except I don’t drink any water, just Monster energy drinks and coke.
“I get up, make myself a sugary tea to have with my Coco Pops and then set off to work, calling into the garage en route for a Caramac.
He continued: “I work in an office so snacking is fairly easy, cup cakes, leftover buffet and that sort of thing. Lunch is Greggs, usually a baguette but occasionally a chicken bake and an iced ring doughnut.
“My wife tells me what to buy for dinner, but I usually put my creative stamp on it and feed her the odd white lie. ‘Sorry babe, they’d run out of vegetables so I bought oven chips’.
“The secret is four cans of Fosters between 9 and 11pm and a bag of Maltesers.”
Pete’s wife Theresa said: “He’s been expanding like a water balloon.
“We had a PTA beach barbecue a couple nights ago and he whipped off his top like he was Brad Pitt in Fight Club, although he was more Frank Butcher when he flashed Pat on her doorstep.
“He was telling everyone how pleased he was with the results of all his hard work, but then one of the school governors said ‘Fuck Pete, you look like a big tub of blomanje’.”
Pete added: “I don’t know where to go from here, but being banned from PTA summer events is a welcome outcome as it gives me time to trial my new socks and sandals look.”
photo credit: Stephan Geyer <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/21508313@N06/4267813361″>Don’t Watch Television Tonight</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a>