Two mushes held up the Mumbles Road traffic by driving like utter twats, getting to the front of the queue, then having a fucking chat as they crept along at 5mph across both lanes.

Pete Bowen and Rob Gray took their modified Corsa and Clio out so that they could showcase their new window stickers and terrible music. 

Bowen said: “My Corsa is bright yellow, except for one door which is burgundy because I dented the previous one and can’t afford the spray job on the replacement. I still look and drive like a prick though. 

“Me and Grayo fancied a spin, I’ve got a new GTI badge that was robbed from a Golf that I’ve stuck on my car, so I wanted to see what change in performance there was.” 

Gray added: “Peter-phile has got the GTI badge and I just got a new Mercedes gear knob, so it was game on. 

“We raced a bit down Oystermouth Road and I think both of our cars benefited massively from our modifications. 

“When we got to Blackpill, he went in the inside lane and I went in the outside lane and we went from 50mph to 5mph, wound down our windows and had a chat. 

“Neither of us could hear what the other was saying but I figured we could either cruise down to the Pier to pick up some girls who are younger than us to act aloof in front of or play hide and seek in our cars.” 

Road user Theresa Connell said: “Being stuck behind a couple of mushes in shite cars is worse than being stuck behind a tractor on narrow windy country roads. 

“What the fuck could they be chatting about that they couldn’t chat about when they pulled over? Adidas?”

The problem was exacerbated near the bottom of Mayals Road when Bowen’s car broke down. 

Bowen said: “Drilling a hole in my exhaust to make my Corsa sound like a Ferrari backfired. Literally.” 

photo credit: Hasan Karagülmez <a href=”″>Renault Clio V6 – HSK04451</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>(license)</a&gt;