A family from Pennard have been ostracised from their social group because they don’t unnecessarily own a VW Transporter, it has emerged.
The Gray family have worked incredibly hard over the years to build their network of friends, through shopping online with Waitrose and hosting craft ale and Gower salt marsh lamb events on their veranda, but face losing it all.
Husband Rob said: “It’s non-stop with these people; I’m still paying off the luxury tent which was the size of a fucking bungalow from last summer’s ‘camping phase’. We only went once because I was in charge of desserts and brought Angel Delight, so we weren’t invited again.
“I expected to hit this stage of my life and have the kids coming home asking for new expensive gadgets, but instead it’s my wife doing it after she has yoga mornings with some of the other Mum’s up the school.
“I’m from fucking Port Talbot mind, I don’t need all this.”
Wife Theresa added: “I don’t get what Rob’s problem is, we’ve come so far. All I want is a massive, overpriced and pointless-for-our-needs VW Transporter so we can all go strawberry picking with the other families or obnoxiously park across two spaces down the beach.
“There are several millionaires in our social group who inherited all of their money and never have to do any work, so we’re lucky to breathe the same air as them.
“He tried to reason with me and order an Opel Vivaro, but reckoned we’d have to sell our expensive John Lewis fish smoker. We’ve never used it but it’s a great talking point when we have people over for nibbles.”
Rob added: “I’m just going to let this one blow over, or there’s divorce.”
photo credit: Cornish Cactus <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/110342926@N07/26074603211″>Green T5</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a>