A study by Swansea University has found that if barber shops keep opening at the rate they currently are, there’ll be more of them than men by 2024. 

The research conducted by the University’s Business School analysed trends of new businesses, with barber shops topping the list, closely followed by Costa and then charity shops.

Dr Rob Gray from the University said: “All this time people have been worrying about immigration, its the barbers knocking out the skin fades who are the real threat. 

“Everywhere you turn there’s a new one, they’re dens of testosterone, with neon lights and loud R&B. In many ways they’re like a modern day working men’s club.

“Gone are the days of Brylcreeming your hair into a respectable side parting. These people shave it in for you, it’s astonishing.

“I sampled a few of them, I had a nice time being man pampered. I just don’t think I was accepted all that well because I cant banter about vaginas and tattoos.”

Barber Pete Bowen said: “Lots of fellas like to come in to get themselves looking sharp. Married Dad’s love it too, they get 30 minutes of being a complete lad again before taking their wives to Wyevale.”

Dr Gray added: “Unfortunately like any unregulated growth industry you get some sharks. I objected to one of them offering me a beer at 9:30am on a Tuesday and he shaved ‘minge’ in the back of my head.” 

photo credit: Fraser Downie <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/27545846@N04/33242475465″>Barber Glasgow</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;