A man from Cwmbwrla feels the time is right to become a fully fledged cliched Swansea fella, it has emerged. 

24 year old Rob Gray feels he’s avoided taking the ‘next step’ for too long and finally feels ready to look and behave like all the other proper men in the city. 

Rob told us: “Timings important I think, I wouldn’t want to get a really wanky sleeve tattoo on a wim would I? 

“One by one, all my mates from school have started to graduate into looking like everyone else and turning into pricks. You could say I’m a late developer, but I’m July birthday so it’s always been a bit like that. 

“I’ve booked in my sleeve tattoo for next month, so I’ve got until then to hit the gym and stuff my body full of whatever chemicals I can lay my hands on so I become massive. Or ‘mahoosive’ as the boys say. 

Rob continued: “I’m going to swap my choppy hairstyle for one of those obvious barber shop ones where it’s bald on the side and back and I have a massive line shaved into where the partings meant to go. 

“My wardrobe’s going to consist of mass manufactured spray on tight jeans with obvious rips in the knees and a shit load of Superdry clothes that everyone else has. Why be different? 

“Unfortunately I’ve wasted all my money on a 2003 Audi TT so my Mum’s going to have pay for my clothes, but I’ll look the bollocks so just don’t tell all the birds who’ll be flocking my way.

“I’ve gone double whammy on tanning, I’m injecting myself with some sort of magic formula and hitting the sun beds pretty hard. So if all goes to plan I’ll be able to legitimately compliment other men on their biceps, bring out my inner misogynist and try and act hard in pubs in not time at all.  

“It’s very exciting, I’m going to be such a twat.” 

photo credit: Zak Henry <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/7847563@N02/5795678761″>Electronic inspired blackwork sleeve tattoo</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

Advertisements