A man from Port Tennant completely misjudged the situation and advised his new work colleagues his nickname in school was ‘erection’, we can reveal. 

31 year old Pete Bowen started his new job as an Insurance Claims Handler on Monday and was feeling confident he’d gotten off to a good start. 

Bowen said: “It was going really well, I felt like I’d been there for months and I was gelling with the team nicely. 

“There’d been a big meeting in the boardroom and there was some buffet left over, so a few of us piled in to pick up some scraps of brown food like the greedy corporate bastards we are. 

“We were all sat around having some bants, when we got onto the subject of nicknames. I don’t know what happened, maybe I was a little too comfortable or maybe I’d indulged in too much whitebait.”

Bowen’s colleague Cheryl Gray continued: “I said my nickname was ‘the beak’ because I had a bit of a pointy nose, which I’m totally fine with now and it’s not why I always look down in my selfies. 

“Rob from Finance said he used to be called ‘nob’ because it rhymed with Rob. We all found it hysterical because it’s another word for a cock.”

Bowen added: “We were laughing, I was excited and I blurted out ‘mine was erection because I kept getting erections’. I wish I hadn’t, honest now.

“The room went really quiet and Rob kept staring at my groin, I knew I’d made an error here but I think I managed to save it because I said it only happened around possible lesbians.” 

Rob from Finance said: “We’re keeping Pete at arms length now and judging from what I could see that’s being pretty generous. 

“We’ve got a Baywatch themed party next month, can you imagine?”