Parents across Swansea have reacted to news that smoking will be banned at school gates, by querying how they’ll find out which fellow parents will be cool and edgy enough to get to know.

The news will thwart attempts by certain parents to try and make the school run like actual school when they were there, where they form close bonds and cliques in order to slag off other parents.

Mum Theresa Connell said: “Its ridiculous, what are they going to do next? Ban parents from being drunk at drop off and pick up? Bureaucrats.

“If I hadn’t identified with my friend Jane who also liked to park their unnecessarily large car on those little yellow zig zags they have by the gate, I wouldn’t have enriched my life with PTA meetings and boozy brunches.”

Dad Rob Gray added: “Asking for a light off another parent when you’re dropping off your kids is a perfect conversation starter and an effective way to form pointless bonds with the grown ups who look after your child’s friend.

“The only point in taking your child to school in the first place is being able to extend your social circle of uptight peers to go to the pub with and engage in awkward small talk about work, house value or flat pack assembly.” 

Head of Education at Swansea Council Pete Bowen said: “We’re doing our best to break apart the mafioso style friendships being formed by parents at the school gates, smoking is the latest target. 

“Obviously there’s health implications for the children, but they don’t seem to care about that. 

“We’re already hearing reports of parents handing Lambert and Butlers though school gates to other parents, like parents were passing chips to their kids after Jamie Oliver dared to encourage healthy eating. 

“Once we break this one down we’ll be revisiting parents in pyjamas.” 

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