Details have emerged about Mumbles Community Council entering into a coalition with the DUP, we can reveal.

The council, keen to strengthen its prowess past flip flopping around where to put a bin in Oystermouth Castle, have reached out to the party to support their ambitions for a more independent SA3.

Council negotiator Pete Bowen said: “Residents of SA3 who don’t have a clever accountant are paying tax, which isn’t right. 

“Under our plans, Waitrose could finally move into the village tax and rent free. We support controlled immigration so we support outsiders coming in, provided they come from places where they speak quite nice. Like Derwen Fawr or Surrey.

“The deal with the DUP will allow us to rid ourselves of Swansea nationalism while retaining a soft border to allow residents to go to Sainsbury’s in case they need a socially acceptable ready meal.

“We’ll have to come to some agreement around anti-abortion legislation, but it’s largely fine because everyone is too uptight to have sex down here anyway.”

Local resident Theresa Connell added: “I think it’s great news, but I’m disappointed they’re not going to turn West Cross into a 5 star spa.

“My only other concern is that residents will have to adopt an orange theme to our clothing, if we have to wear orange with the bright white trousers we all wear I’m concerned we’ll end up looking like traffic cones.” 

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