Terrorists have responded to the closure of the Mumbles Road this weekend, by telling council officials they wouldn’t use the route on a busy weekend for all the virgins in heaven.

As hundreds of thousands of people descend on the area to watch the air show, officials are keen to make sure visitors are only armed with Stongbow, offensive vests and sun cream.

Terrorist Pete Bowen said: “Mumbles Road, on a busy weekend? I’m an extremist, I’m not mad.

“Sacrificing myself for some obscure religious belief is one thing, trying to be patient as you crawl along Mumbles Road because people are crossing the road at the bottom of Brynmill Road on a red man is a different animal.

“Have you ever tried to turn right into the Pub on the Pond on a busy day? Bedlam.

“Me and the boys will probably drive over the common instead and go up to Oystermouth Castle and watch the red arrows from there. It’s a decent view actually and a nice spot for a picnic.”

Council Safety Manager Theresa Connell added: “Security risks are a real thing, but we want to assure the general public we’ll be making it difficult to get to the front for everyone, terrorist or not.

“We’ll close some roads, the parking enforcement officers will be out and with any luck we’ll fine some people for dropping cigarette butts. All proceedings go to the Authority’s Summer Ball in the Brangwyn, so it’s for a good cause.” 

photo credit: Gwyrosydd <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/57201140@N08/5930449925″>Red Arrows</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;