A man from Plasmarl was forced to disingenuously wish three people he didn’t like Happy Birthday on Facebook in order to say it to the person he actually does like, it’s been confirmed.


29 year old Pete Bowen was delighted to see his friend Rob Gray turning 30, but his excitement was dampened after seeing who else shared a birthday with him which left him in the familiar bind of having to share niceties with them. 

Bowen said: “Rob’s great, he wears edgy clothes and always has a haircut that I wish I could pull off, so yeah I was excited to play a part in his big day. 

“Look, I’m a man with morals and I’m profoundly polite. I’d hate for someone to see me write someone else a Happy Birthday and then leave them out. 

“However, wishing big Sue from accounts a Happy 53rd was not what I wanted to do today, especially after she mocked my forecasts in a meeting with the Area Manager last week. 

“Then there was Jenny from school who I never spoke to, who keeps appearing on my timeline selling diet pills and my distant cousin Gemma, who got all righteous when I tried to jump her when I was off my face in a house party in Morriston. 

“We’re twice removed Gemma. There’s no fucking blood line.” 

Rob added: “I appreciated the ‘Happy Birthday mate’ from Pete and 89 others despite me having 498 friends, but if I’d known it’d been such a chore to the poor bastard I’d have turned my notifications off.  

“Plus that Jenny’s diet pills are bogus.”

Pete added: “What a day. I’m glad Rob got the message but Jenny’s since inboxed me and my cousin has reminded me of the legal case against me. 

“My day was really ruined when big Sue saw my message which served as a reminder that I hadn’t completed my budget for next year, so now I’m being micromanaged for my courtesy.” 

photo credit: The Urban Scot <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/57676038@N06/32867097260″>47/100 Paul</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

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