A man who pinned all of his hopes on reposting a meme from a Facebook page called ‘Monday Memetivation’ has been left reeling after it did nothing to make his day remotely better.
Medical Rep Pete Bowen, 33, was struggling with the reality of his inevitable come down following his weekend’s over indulgence, as well as his acute anxiety over something as small as his phone ringing.
Bowen said: “Everyone keeps telling me about how I should ‘settle down’ now I’m in my thirties but there’s some grade A coke doing the rounds at the moment.
“I’m tending to take a day or two longer than I used to in order to clear the drugs and alcohol out of my system every weekend, but I’m younger than I will be tomorrow and I’m happy with that rational for now.
“I keep telling everyone I’m the Bruce Lee of haemorrhoid medicine, but really I do very little to justify my BMW 3 Series.
“I sought solace in a meme page and I realise now that there’s something else that works against my ability to do a proper days work and Tuesday is looming like the terrifying, dehydrated and guilt filled mistress she always is.
“I’ve missed target, I’ve done nothing to help myself and I’ve spent the day exploring what porn I can get away with through the company’s strict internet usage policy. So basically the meme was a waste of time.
“I know living in the moment sounds idealistic, but all I want to do is cry into a McFlurry and buy more drugs.”
Bowen’s line manager Theresa Connell said: “A meme is quite unorthodox, but we’re Medical Reps which makes us basically maverick doctors with the gift of the gab.
“Quite frankly we’ll try anything with Pete, the only part of his job that he excels at is driving like twat.”
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