A couple from Birchgrove have confirmed their lovely weekend has been completely annihilated by Monday.

Pete Bowen, 27 and Theresa Connell, 26, spent a lovely weekend down the beach, watching Netflix and eating nice food before Pete exceeded all expectations and went and painted the fence.

Finance Manager Pete said: "I woke up this morning all happy so I clearly wasn't thinking straight, I was engulfed in a Cuprinol bubble. The next thing I know I'm sat in a month end finance meeting staring, unprepared, at badly performing EBITDAs.

"It felt like just yesterday that we were enjoying a civilised coffee and croissant at Bluebell Cafe in Tycoch. Technically it was yesterday, but the weekend feels like it was some parallel universe."

Admin Manager Theresa added: "Oh take me back to Saturday Kitchen, we were eating bacon sandwiches and wondering who Greg James was and why he was there. The World was our oyster.

"Overcast, but dry, we had so many things to do but alas, so little time.

"We went to the Uplands Market and basked in so much creativity we considered buying sushi, we didn't because we went to KFC, but there were options and those options don't exist today."

Pete continued: "We went to the beach and paddled in the sea a bit, we held hands and talked about buying a massive house with sea views. All I've thought about today is going back into the sea when the tides coming in with some heavy concrete tied to my foot.

"Just the type of thought process that means I'm living near Skewen and not by the guy who lands his helicopter in his garden by Caswell."

Theresa said: "I think we'll be OK, we'll probably just start drinking again when we get home from work and talk about how terrible life is."