Free movement of people between Llanelli and Swansea will end in little over two years, it's been confirmed.
From 2019, people coming from Llanelli to 'work' in Swansea will have to register with the Council so they can be suitably demonised by their Swansea born counterparts.
Head of Anti Llanelli Living Around Here (ALLAH) Pete Bowen said: "We have to end free movement of these people. Gorseinon has turned into the Calais jungle, housing these foreigners before they try to move into an HMO in Mount Pleasant.
"They don't integrate into Swansea Life at all, in fact none of them are pictured at charity events because they're all too pale and socially unpopular.
"Then there's the language barrier. I spoke to someone from Llanelli the other day and she was calling something 'awful', but it sounded like 'offal'. What's animal organs got to do with expensive business rates I thought, then it clicked.
"She was a turk. Not like the barbers who add to our economy and deliver skin fades for £10 a pop, a Llanelli one."
Incoherent Llanelli migrant Theresa Connell said: "Ah pity. Trostre. Parc Trostre. Tom Pepper.
"There's lots going on in Llanelli mind. There's a new Primark and The Range.
Bowen added: "They need us more than we need them. They don't have an Admiral or a Kaspas.
"It's not a race thing, my Mother in Law is from Llanelli, so I just hate them."