People who use the phrase ‘I’m not being funny’, are nearly always about to say something which is flippant or offensive, it’s been confirmed.

Language experts at Swansea University have completed a six year research project looking into a range of different phrases used by people who tend to be utter bastards, and have concluded that people who say they aren’t being something, usually are.

Head of Research Pete Bowen said: “The study was a fascinating insight into how dreadful everyone is and how they mask it by lying.

“Similar phrases include ‘I don’t like to gossip’, which is inevitably followed by gossip and ‘I’m not being a bitch’ when they very clearly are.”

Research subject Theresa Connell said: “I’m not being funny, but they said I’d be taking part in an experiment and they haven’t paid me a penny for all my wisdom.

"Also, I'm not being horrible, but the researcher reminded me of a peadophile."

Bowen continued: "The conclusion on the research found that people who didn't go out of their way to justify what they're about to say, are the people to generally trust.

"You won't find decent people with no hidden agenda starting a sentence with 'I'm being honest'.

"I'm not being funny, but all in all it was six years well spent."

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