A Waunarlwydd man has announced his decision to give up on browsing the dark web for sick stuff, because it’s become a bit too commercialised.

Weirdo Pete Bowen, 37, has been using the dark web to satisfy his hunger for deprivation for around two years, but has had enough of pop-ups promoting nuclear weapons, animal porn and UKIP.

Bowen said: “It all used to be harmless fun, which both challenged and heightened my levels of curiosity in a safe and anonymous setting.

“It feels like they let pretty much anyone in nowadays so that they can earn money from ad revenue. If I want to spend an afternoon being radicalised, the last thing I need is to answer a quick survey from Google.”

Bowen’s Mother Theresa said: “Pete was really starting to come into his own on that dark web, so it’s a shame it’s not worked out. We’re not sure what he can do next, we can’t really let him out of the attic to be honest.

“We had the same problem when he was at school. He was one of the first to have a Global Hypercolour t-shirt and then everyone else got one so he tried to murder the class gerbil.”

Bowen continued: “I was searching for some revenge porn, mainly of my neighbours Rob and Cheryl Gray because Cheryl ran off with a Councillor and Rob’s been really pissed off about it.

“Turns out Rob was online at the same time as me. I asked him if anything was sacred anymore, he just said ‘shut up Pete, where can I find a hitman to kill my wife and her lover?’

“I’m going to have to move onto the darker side of the web now and start reading the Daily Mail online to get my fix.”

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