Lots of people are really excited about Swansea’s new digital jobs, but no one really knows what they are, it has emerged.

The digital jobs, which have already flattened places you used to go and get drunk, is arriving in the City at some point and creating loads of digital jobs operating from ‘hubs’ and ‘districts’.

Warehouse Operative Pete Bowen said: “I’m going to get me a big important digital job doing digital stuff.

“I’ve been practicing at home retuning the digi-box and trying to work out how to change the digital clock on the cooker.”

Waitress Theresa Connell said: “I like hospitality, but I don’t really need super fast broadband to do my job so I’m thinking of a change.

“It can’t be that hard, I mastered digital in the 90’s when I had a Tamagotchi. I even failed my GCSEs because I cared for it when I was meant to be in double science.

“Digital’s the future, unlike my Tamagotchi which I lost that time I was stoned in Singleton Park. Do you think digital knows about that and holds it against me?”

Barista Rob Gray said: “The digital revolution is coming, show me the bitcoins.

“In five years time digital will do everything for us and it’ll do it digitally. There’ll be no wars, we’ll just be part of a big game where we blow each other up and just WhatsApp abuse to each other.

“We won’t have post codes anymore, just digital district numbers like The Hunger Games, that’s right, isn’t it?”

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