Teachers across Swansea have unanimously voted to continue drinking the same amount of alcohol they’ve drunk over summer for another 9 weeks or so.

The vote also decided they would grant Nursery teachers the opportunity to complain about ‘marking’ for a bit longer and PE teachers access to staff rooms, despite them technically not really teaching anything.

Headmistress Theresa Connell said: “We fully support the opportunity for school staff to ‘do a bottle of wine and a couple of shots’ every day for a bit longer.

“We’ll re-evaluate things in about 9 weeks before we start a typically drunken half term.”

Year 6 teacher Pete Bowen said: “I’m delighted to have been granted the ability to get shit faced every night because of your dreadful kids.

“I’ve been drunk since September 2002, which ironically is when I began my first teaching post. Alcohol is the one stable friend I have in teaching.”

Physics teacher Cheryl Gray added: “Oh good, that’ll excuse the fact I’m a bit pissed right now then.

“In fact I can’t remember being sober, apparently I did a parents evening in June and because I’m a flirty drunk I probably got your Dad’s phone number.

“Just remember that the next time draw a penis in your textbook.”

photo credit: Nelo Hotsuma <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/63122283@N06/16012123530″>Nirai – Get your drink on</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

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