A Waunarlwydd man who’s a bit of a dickhead has sensationally waded into Swansea’s City of Culture bid, we can reveal.
32 year old ‘culture vulture’ Pete Bowen ridiculed the bid by commenting on an Evening Post article while watching reruns of Top Gear on Dave.
Bowen said: “I was watching Clarkson review a Focus RS Turbo when I stumbled across an article about blue dip dyed sheep for the bid, it dawned on me right then how far away we are from winning this thing.
“As I sat there with a semi, watching Jeremy doing 120mph across a desert while being casually racist, I figured we should just hand the prize to Coventry and be done with it. Mainly because I’m so full of hate and I’ve never been to Coventry.
“The only way we can save this now is to have the bloke who wrote Twin Town punch the Mayor in the face.”
Bowen added: “Don’t get me wrong, I know my literature. I skipped over the book that bloke wrote about being a shit Swansea City football hooligan not so long ago. It wasn’t far off what I imagine the works of Dylan Thomas, Shakespeare or Vinnie Jones were trying to achieve.”
Swansea BID representative Theresa Connell said: “We rolled out the blue sheep because no one in the World can possibly fuck with sheep from the Gower Salt Marsh lamb producers.
“What have you got Stoke? The A50?”
Bowen continued: “Great for local businesses they say, what about real ethical employers in the area like Amazon?
“What we really need is a bit more Clarkson sexism and Hammond homophobia in the City which is proper culture.”
photo credit: Hoppy1951 <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/44096805@N07/33917250520″>Three Cliffs Bay, The Gower Peninsula</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a>