A pair of jeans owned by a 40 year old man have entered their eleventh month without being washed, it’s been confirmed.
The jeans, skinny fit from Zara, celebrated the feat last night with owner Pete Bowen by having the residue of greasy fried chicken rubbed into them.
Owner Bowen said: “They were a risky purchase 11 months ago because they’re skinny jeans and I’m 40. If I wash them now I may never get into them again.
“I have to say that for £29.99 they’ve moulded into my broadening body really quite well, sometimes I have the remove the safety pin that goes where the button once was after a pint, but that’s the thing with fashion – it never stays still.”
Bowen added: “These have seen me through two summers, stag parties in Tenerife then Warsaw, a violent bout of gastroenteritis and a divorce and they’re still going strong.
“They smell OK, maybe they’re self cleaning, like hair or cats?”
Bowen’s ex wife Theresa Connell said: “Those jeans were a fairly pivotal reason in my decision to leave Pete. Maybe it was the fact he looked like he had a camel toe in them, maybe it was because he was wearing them when he forgot my birthday and every other time he’s not wearing the suit he never washes to work.
“Either way, they represent a period of repulsive disappointment in our relationship that we could never come back from.”
Bowen added: “Theresa kept trying to wash my jeans and now she’s gone and they’re still here. If that doesn’t speak volumes I don’t know what does.
“My aim is to keep the zip on the fly intact for Christmas party season, it’s like a tug of war down there trying to keep my bits from popping out.”
photo credit: Alex-501 <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/60705975@N08/8363469332″>Levis 501 Butt</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a>