Huw Jenkins has named Melchester Rovers striker Roy Race as his primary target for January, as he looks to bolster the Swansea City squad for the second half of the season.

Race, 79, has been ever present in the Melchester squad since 1954, averaging nearly a goal a game for the Mel Park club.

Jenkins said: “We sent our scouts out to the East Stand when we played some team a couple of weeks ago, one of them stumbled across an article about Roy and they knew he was the right fit for the club. That’s what we pay them in Rossi’s chips for.

“The article explained Roy had scored the winning penalty against Real Santana in the 1985 Cup Winners Cup final, upon investigation the team found Roy had 11 league titles, 10 FA Cups and 11 European trophies too.

“All that and me and Martin Morgan had never even heard of him. We were about to re-sign Marvin Emnes too for the price of a haircut and a night in a Morgan’s townhouse.”

Race said: “You know what football’s like, it’s a short lived career, so I need to think carefully about this.

“I’ve lived in Melchester all my life, so moving to a new place will create significant upheaval. I mean Melchester is lovely and Penlan doesn’t even sound like a real place.”

Jenkins continued: “We sent Dan Altman to do some data analysis and we were a little alarmed that Roy had lost a foot in a helicopter accident in ‘93, but you’ve got to take a gamble sometimes.

“We ticked along alright with Borja thingy what’s his name, didn’t we?

“Roy’s packed with goals and has survived a lot of kidnappings, which will be useful if he ever gets lost en route to the Liberty.

“The real sweetener is that we’re able to sign him based on 1950s transfer values too. The board unanimously agreed we’d sign him with no legs at that price.”

photo credit: atomicShed <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/57071639@N00/3919999291″>Roy Shot! Or was it a dive?</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

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