It’s finally been confirmed that Leon Britton is Jesus and he’s been sent to save Swansea City Football Club and everything else everywhere.
Club legend Britton will take over as player-coach, physio, chief scout and Chief Executive of the DVLA with immediate effect.
Club spokesperson Pete Bowen said: “Obviously Leon is Swansea City through and through, he’ll never leave. Well he did once, but like my Uncle Dai’s three month long holidays to Pattaya, we don’t talk about that.
“Similarly to Jesus, Britts will deliver a message from the footballing Gods and reinvigorate the squad, also like Jesus he’s only about 5’1”.
“He’ll have around 21,000 disciples following him at the stadium, maybe 15,000 on Carabao Cup games, but we’re obviously out of that now anyway.”
Jacks fan Rob Gray said: “All hail the messiah. The bible saying Jesus turned water into wine is merely a metaphor for Leon being able to influence the team to enter the opposition half a few more times.
“Maybe connect some passes every now and then or something.
“The only key difference between Jesus and Leon is that Leon is real.”
Local vicar Theresa Connell added: “I can confirm the Lord’s prayer is now the Leon prayer.
“Our player-coach who comes from Wimbledon,
Leon be thy name.
The Swansea way will come,
Pass completion will be done.
At the Liberty and when playing away.
Forgive us for those missed passes,
As we forgive those who’ve played right through us.
And lead us away from relegation,
Just take us above West Brom.
For the Liberty is a fortress,
so bring us mid-table glory,
for at least another season, so we can beat Cardiff.
photo credit: Ronnie Macdonald <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/7332125@N04/6142163186″>Leon Britton & Emmanuel Frimpong</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a>